Tom Monson, vice president of Simple Joe, Inc. gave a series of free seminars on personal finance to people in his neighborhood. Many couples have planned & 39; attend, but only two or three showed up.
Tom and I & 39; have discussed the situation and wondered why participation is so low. We knew that many people were interested and several have expressed the desire d & 39; learn about finances directly to Tom. But when he came to show for the seminar, they seem & 39; d find other things to do.
As Tom and I have discussed this he commented on the behavior and attitude of some & 39; people who demonstrated for the first two seminars. At the first seminar, Tom noticed that several couples husband and wife seemed a bit ill at ease with & 39; discussion of financial issues of each other.
Much Tom & 39; s seminar involved recognize and evaluate your financial situation present, the setting of financial goals and ways to measure your progress. But it is struggling to get couples to discuss financial issues between themselves.
We wondered whether these couples may be reluctant to have a candid conversation because financial conversations around the & 39; money can lead to disagreements and even fighting. It has been estimated that more than half of all divorces occur to a certain extent due to disagreements on & 39; money and perhaps because those couples finances.
So were reluctant to enter an argument about their finances, because they know that whenever they speak & 39; s & 39; money they fight. Or they may have just one or two very bad fighting about finances, and now they seek to avoid subject.
I venture to guess that all struggles on the & 39; money and finance can be reduced to l & 39; one of the two basic problems: the lack of communication (or the lack & 39;) selfishness.
Lack and communication l & 39; occurs when one spouse spends the money & 39; other reserved for anything else. Or when a major financial decision occurred without the contribution of the other spouse & 39;. Or when a large order is made without the consultation or consent of & 39; other spouse.
Misunderstanding can occur when the couple was reluctant to enter into a debate financier, has difficulty communicating financial or simply has trouble express ideas. It may be that one spouse & 39; n & 39; is hard to see a financial concept. Or the & 39; one spouse & 39; n is not enough patient & 39; d have a full discussion of the subject.
The need & 39; be wrong in law or making financial decisions is often quite strong, especially in men. As the provider of the family history, some men see their finances as the only area. It may also be a sign of status or ego.
And in a situation where there are financial problems, many men & 39; can easily get defensive when the wife & 39; questions decisions or situations. This can lead to fights and misunderstandings.
After a discussion fails, the husband may feel as & 39; wife is ungrateful for what & 39; it does and does not trust him to correct financial decisions.
Meanwhile women may feel like the husband is talking to her, not & 39; n value of its contribution to the family and perhaps even hiding something can happen her.
This when emotions take the path of communication. It is very important to consider your spouse and to be careful how you phrase questions comments.
Also and it is important to ask questions when you do not know or understand a financial situation or decision. Lack of understanding will lead to future clashes & 39;. The husband can be assumed that the woman is aware & 39; impact of the decision that they have come & 39; d & 39; be made. Then, if something goes wrong, a husband can get angry at his wife, his questions because, for him, it might seem like a accusation.
Or women can do something that the husband is not fully understood, then husband gets angry because it " & 39; not say what " c & 39; is & 39; him that it was why.
So or how are we going to solve or prevent these problems of lack of communication and misunderstandings?
The first step is to leave your ego outside the door. You do not know everything and & 39; n is not your spouse. It is important to & 39; ensure that people understand both the financial issue, how it affects their lives and what kind of decision is best for them and why.
If the wife is more & 39; in a strong field of finance, it needs & 39; patiently explain to spouses & 39; This & 39; that she knows and how it affects them. If the husband is poured into a financial theme, it should patiently explain to the woman that he & 39; in knows.
If none of them have & 39; a good knowledge on the subject, shut " " go up and learn something more about it. So do not be embarrassed or ashamed of not knowing something. Just because you are & 39; man "l" does not mean that you are born with financial genius.
Just because you are the "woman" does not make you an expert in household finances and it does not mean that n & 39; you are "not capable" of Financial issues, and understanding of concepts. Do not register your spouse or your spouse can make us forget something without an explanation that you understand the two and could repeat to someone & 39; a else.
We all make mistakes and we all have things to learn. Do not let your pride or your ego take the path to your financial success. Do not leave the subject of money & 39; become a weakness in your relationship. If you can remember to talk to your spouse in the same type of patient and respectful way you talk to your boss, your conversations on the finances will go much smoother.
David Berky is president of Simple Joe, Inc., a marketing company who sells simple software under the name "Simple Joe. L & 39; one of Singles Joe & 39; s best-selling products is simple Joe & 39; s Money Tools - a collection of 14 personal finance and investment & 39; calculators.
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